if only tonight we could sleep...

but no, once again. And this time I haven't been drinking. Actually It's been almost three days since I had my last drink. I really wanted to rest this weekend but I just managed to sleep some hours last morning. I should really try to get some sleeping pills. I keep telling myself this is just another episode, that it has to end like all things do.But still that doesn't make me fall asleep any sooner.I have to sleep, I have to sleep, I have to sleep, I have to sleep, I'm sleeping now, I am, my eyes are closing [this is just a nightmare... someone's gonna bring me up] I'm fading... everything's fading... you are as well, you, you me, I mean (I can see myself talking to me in my sleep) this is definitely a dream,  nothing is happening, no one's here, nothing but silence... dark and quiet , I'm not even here, all has disappeared, I'm nowhere, I'm gonna stop now, I have to, there's nothing else, there isn't, I am not...